Okay okay I don't hate my sons new hair cut but if I'm honest I'm not mad keen on it but its growing on me. What I actually hate is the reason behind the big chop. Every day I was hearing "oh what an adorable little GIRL, aww isn't SHE beautiful, what sweet curls SHE has" I did try to turn it around and see the positives after all they are compliments, although I did hate the awkwardness of correcting 99% of people meeting him for the first time, I could live with those comments. But what I struggled with is the "why would you keep his hair so long if everyone thinks he's a girl" or the "you should cut it he looks like a girl" OR even in response to me telling them he's a boy being asked if I was sure! I hated being made to feel that my choices were the wrong ones for him! Of course I'm not mad at them for having opinions or a preference I'm mad at myself for letting theirs get to me. I've always been one to do what I think is right, dance to my own beat and generally wear whatever I want regardless of what others think but on this occasion I didn't.
Yesterday evening after I finished cutting Tigers hair Beaux actually sat in the chair and let me trim his (a first! and probably a last after what I did to him *laughs and then immediately cries*) and what can only be described as a moment of weakness I started cutting off those locks which I loved, that I had spent many a time stroking to comfort him from the time he was born. At that moment I had just had enough of all of those comments but mid way realised that I felt too emotional to finish it, I mean I literally sobbed my way through Tigers first proper hair cut, not because of the actual hair but because for me it meant he was no longer my baby or my toddler but my little boy.
I called my friend in tears and she came to my house like a hairdressing superhero and finished off my shoddy job. I was pleased that she had managed to make it look nice and not like he had a fight with Freddy Krueger but I felt ashamed that I had let other peoples opinions make me push forward this milestone that was important to me. I had planed to cut it when he was three years old, when he was about to start preschool which would have given me plenty of time to come to terms with that I no longer have a toddler. Which is probably the real reason I am upset, the realisation that our family is truly complete and we will no longer have a baby in it.
Now I've come to end of this post I feel a bit silly that I've written it at all. It is only hair and it will grow. For a bizarre reason I thought his hair was a reflection of his personality but how ridiculous is that?! Regardless of his hairstyle or what he wears he will always be my wild one. He's delighted with his 'big boy hair cut' and happy to pose for a photo to show it off!