Wednesday, 1 February 2017

5 Easy Ways to be Kinder to Yourself when you are A Mum


Mum guilt is a real thing, we worry our children spend too long in front of the TV or on their tablets. We worry we spend too much time looking at our phones. We worry we don't play enough with them. We worry we don't read enough to them. We worry they don't do enough after school activities. If we have more than one child we worry we don't spend enough one on one time with each child. I know this because I personally worry about every single one of these things. 

Daily I struggle with the balance of looking after our children, keeping the house tidy, working on my blog and making time for friends and family. All the while I totally forget to include myself in the mix, I forget to look after myself. That yes I am a mother and a wife but I'm also Carissa and I need to look after myself too.

At the start of the year I vowed to be kinder to myself. The children are loved and are happy and ultimately that's what is important, so I need to stop beating myself up about what I feel I haven't done enough of and give myself a little fist pump about what I have done. And if I need a break, to take one!  

I know for most of us mums going on a weekend spa break is completely out of the question so I have been doing these 5 Things to be kinder to myself as a mum. They are easy to achieve and are already making me feel a whole lot better.



1. Eat what you want to eat - Fussy little things these kids of ours and I find myself only making food I know they will eat and eating that, or waiting until they go to bed and cooking 'something special' for myself and The Mister, meaning I cook twice! So now once a week I cook something I enjoy, seriously why shouldn't I? I'm the one cooking it! 

The first time I tried this I made fish pie, because I love fish pie! It isn't exactly exotic but its something I really enjoy. Initially the Little Lads moaned as if the fish isn't covered in breadcrumbs or batter they turn their noses up at it. But in the end Tiger ate most of his. Beaux picked out the prawns, ate the mash and all of his peas and a corn,  so a success I would say. And I will be doing this more often, plus it's a great way to introduce them to new foods.


2. It can all wait - Sometimes I just ignore that pile of washing in the sink, the state of my inbox or the laundry that is spilling out of their baskets. It's not going anywhere, the world won't come crashing to an end if I leave it there for a couple more hours. 

Instead I curl up on the sofa with a blanket, some little treats and snuggle up with my little lads. I also leave my phone upstairs so I am not tempted to have a scroll and see more of what I 'should be' doing. I also try to use this time to introduce The Little Lads to the classics I loved watching growing up as a kid.

3. Wee with the door close - Seriously, when did weeing with the door unlocked or in my case with it wide open become a thing?! Both of my children are old enough to not kill themselves or each other for 5 minutes while I go to the loo. You won't believe that just doing this has made me feel more like a normal human being. 

4. Do something that makes you happy WITHOUT the kids - Make time for a little catch up with your friends, start a book and finish it, go for a grown up walk (you know, without walking at a snails pace and stopping to look at a dog poo which looks like Stickman!) Go shopping, treat yourself. Fall back in love with a hobby you had before you had children, do it! Whatever it is, just make some time for it.

5. Do something that that makes you happy WITH the kids - Do more things with your children that you love to do with them as much as much as they do. I love theme parks (I know thats some parents idea of a nightmare!) but I love them! I think they show off my silly and playful side. Or something simple, I also love putting on some of my old house music, turning it up really loudly and dancing around the living room with the Little Lads, it's great for releasing tension!

On my bucket list as well this year is to take the kids to a family friendly festival, I use to really love going to gigs before I had kids and I really want them to appreciate the feeling live music can give you. 


I've been adding these small changes to our family life and I can already see the changes in myself and the Little Lads. Every time I feel that pesky mum guilt trying to sneak its way back in I just remind myself to just be kinder to me. 

The kids will be okay.




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1 comment

  1. Love this post Carissa. Making little changes can have such a big impact, yet we so often forget to do them. Thanks for the reminder x

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